Going through separation as parents creates emotional hurdles nobody prepares you for. Many parents feel blindsided when their ex makes important decisions about their child without input.
This exclusion can sting personally and may violate your legal rights. Tennessee law provides specific protections on decision-making authority that can help you handle these tricky situations.
What your parenting plan actually means
That document from your divorce or custody case specifically outlines who gets to make which decisions about your child’s life. Your plan likely includes one of these common arrangements:
- Joint decision-making: This setup requires both parents to discuss and agree on major matters like school changes, medical treatments and religious upbringing.
- Sole decision-making: If your ex has this authority, they can make major decisions without your input, though courts value keeping both parents involved.
- Split decision-making: Your plan might give you final say over certain areas while your ex handles others.
Take time to review your actual parenting plan because the specific wording determines your rights in these situations.
Steps to take when excluded from decisions
Finding out your child switched schools or started new medication without your knowledge feels awful, but you have several options to address this issue. You should:
- Keep records with dates, decisions made and screenshots showing your attempts to participate
- Send your ex a calm message referring to sections of your parenting plan that require joint decision-making
- Seek help from a family court mediator to facilitate productive discussions
- Consult with a family lawyer to help enforce your parenting plan through formal channels
Your voice matters in your child’s life, and protecting your role in important decisions isn’t selfish—it’s good parenting. By approaching these situations with documentation and calm determination, you maintain your rightful involvement in decisions that shape your child’s future.